Accepting Feedback
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What you will learn
- 1Distinguish helpful responses to feedback from unhelpful responses
- 2Explain why accepting feedback with an open mind helps you grow
- 3Apply the STAR method when receiving feedback
Mini Lesson
Feedback is information from someone else about how you are doing — what is working, what could be better, and how to improve. Constructive feedback is not an attack on you as a person. It is about your work or behavior, and it is one of the fastest ways to grow. The key is how you receive it.
Helpful responses to feedback
- Listen without interrupting — let the person finish before you respond.
- Say thank you — even if the feedback is hard to hear, acknowledging it is respectful.
- Ask a clarifying question — "Can you tell me more about what I could do differently?"
- Reflect and try again — use the feedback to make a specific change in your work or behavior.
Unhelpful responses to feedback
- Getting defensive — "That’s not fair — I worked really hard!" closes you off to learning.
- Making excuses — explaining why it was someone else’s fault instead of listening.
- Ignoring it — pretending you did not hear it or doing nothing differently.
- Attacking back — criticizing the person giving the feedback instead of considering what they said.
The STAR method for receiving feedback
- S — Stop what you are doing and give full attention.
- T — Think before you react — take a breath.
- A — Ask a clarifying question if needed.
- R — Reflect and decide one thing you will change.
Words to know
Feedback
Information someone gives you about your work or behavior
e.g. My coach's feedback helped me improve.
Constructive
Helpful and aimed at helping you grow, not at hurting you
e.g. Constructive feedback gives clear next steps.
Defensive
Closed off and ready to argue back instead of listening
e.g. Getting defensive stops me from learning.
Reflect
To think calmly about what you heard and what to do next
e.g. I reflect before I decide what to change.
Clarifying question
A polite question that helps you understand the feedback better
e.g. "Can you give me an example?" is a clarifying question.
Self-check: Think of a time you received feedback. Did you respond helpfully or unhelpfully? What would you do differently now?
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